Divorce Tips: Do’s and Don’ts
By Henry F. Lewis on December 10, 2019
Going through a divorce can be difficult, and many people are not sure what to do or what to expect. Thankfully, working with an Oakland, CA divorce attorney from our law firm can offer you the guidance you need to avoid serious difficulties and hardships during the process.
East Bay attorneys Michael A. Gardner and Henry F. Lewis would like to share five do’s and five don’ts for people undergoing a divorce. We’ll happily share more information and advice with you during a legal consultation.
DO: Hire a Skilled Divorce Lawyer
The first step when you’re set on ending your marriage is finding a good divorce attorney. Ask friends and loved ones if they can recommend an attorney that they trust. If you’re unable to find a recommendation in your network, you can start your search on Google. Begin with a simple search like “Oakland divorce attorney” and then do your research by looking up online reviews and client testimonials.
DON’T: Violate Court Orders
If you have court dates or any orders from the court related to the divorce, be sure to follow them. Failure to comply could be held against you in the divorce proceeding. If you find a court order unreasonable, discuss it with your attorney.
DO: Get Financial Records and Information Ready
During a divorce, it’s going to be imperative to have a record of all assets and debts. Gather bank statements, jointly filed tax returns, and other relevant financial information.
DON’T: Hide Assets or Financial Documents
Always be transparent and honest with the court and your attorney. Hiding assets or any sort of financial documents in the divorce process could have negative repercussions for you in the end.
DO: Keep Interactions with Your Spouse Cordial If Possible
To make the divorce process flow as smoothly as possible, try to keep interactions with your former spouse cordial whenever possible. If your relationship with your former spouse was combative, run all correspondence through your attorney to avoid or defuse conflicts.
DON’T: Endanger Yourself If Your Spouse Is Abusive/Violent
For people whose former spouses were abusive or manipulative, do not get involved in any potentially dangerous situations where you meet with them alone. Have your attorney or another person present for in-person interactions with your spouse.
DO: Make Time for Your Children
If you have children, be sure to be there for them. Attend school events and make sure to look out for their needs. This could play a role in determining child custody arrangements, but more importantly, it’s the right thing to do as a responsible parent.
DON’T: Speak Poorly of Your Spouse in Front of the Children
Even if your former spouse was a bad person, try to keep that out of your conversations with your children. This is especially important for joint custody and visitation arrangements. Keeping some peace will be in the best interests of your child.
DO: Speak with Friends and Family Members for Support
A divorce can be extremely trying for people on an emotional level. Remember that you don’t need to feel alone in this. Reach out to friends and loved ones to talk about what you’re feeling. Don’t hesitate to speak with a therapist or counselor about these matters either. Support and self-care are essential at this time.
DON’T: Post About Your Divorce on Social Media
Emotions do run high in a divorce, and there’s a tendency to overshare on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram when you’re feeling vulnerable. Avoid posting about your divorce on social media. You might post a brief note about it if you feel the need to, but make sure to also request privacy during this time.
Ending your marriage may be a great excuse to take a break from social media. Disconnect from posting and reconnect with people close to you instead.
Get More Advice from Skilled Divorce Attorneys
If you are undergoing a divorce, be sure to have reputable law enforcement on your side. We encourage people in the greater Oakland area to contact our team of divorce and family law attorneys. You can reach us in the East Bay by calling (510) 451-4822.
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“The needs of your family are always at the forefront of our legal services. Whether through litigation or mediation, we believe that reaching a fair, efficient solution with minimal negative impact to your family is of the utmost importance.” Henry F. Lewis